beth, listen to this, "women,tighten your chastity belt and show this sex animalcalled man that you are notobjects of pleasure. that sex is nota man's basic right. there is trouble beyondthe valley of the dolls. girls unite. join the sexual revolutionand be free." yeah, free and lonely.
free and lonely is right. all those women-liberswhere are they from, it must be the victorian age. they're so anti-fun. i mean, i believe womenshould have basic rights like 60% for women,30% for men and 10% for the other kind. i don't want to be equal. who wants to compete with men
i have a hard enough timecompeting with women. yeah, but bethyou have to understand, you are the classic example ofwhat a doll should look like. god, you're well-built,you're well-seasoned, reasonably bright. what do you meanreasonably bright? girl, i mean,reasonable enough to know that it's all right beinga wife doll mate, but housekeeping,oh, that's absolutely unnatural.
girl, you could die at 40from ajax poisoning. yeah, but think of allthe lovin' up to there. oh, you and you're lovin'. i mean, an ever-lovingman can't be all bad. they're not. an ever-lovin' man is good!he's very good! especially when he'sgot his arms around an ever-loving woman. you know what thatresult is, hmm,
they make the most beautifulquincy jones music together you have ever heard. ...our bodies areall we got, really. we shouldn't force feedourselves with a bunch of pills and instant gook.we should be... natural. uh-huh. we should just bare ourbreasts to the wind and let naturetake its course, right? heather, come on.
i'm really serious. oh brea, you know you'rereally a beautiful person. and i'm sure that when yougraduate medical school you're going to save mankind. it's just that i have differentplans for my fellow man. i don't want to save mankind,i just want to serve him. well, let me put it this way, consider the possibilities ofgetting mankind to serve you. ...i like that.
so, i first met this guy, in one of mypsychology classes and believe meit was real cool until i found outhe was married. how did you find that out? oh, he invited me to havelunch with him one day, he said he had somebodyhe wanted me to meet. and so we went over tothe student union and i met this sophomoremodel-type,
you know, with thelong black hair down to here, smokes camel cigarettes. oh, mr. nice guy's wife, huh? yeah. and after they sprungfor a 35-cent hotdog and a 15-cent coke, they invited meto have group sex. oh, come on,the other-lovin' couples bit? right.
except the way they put it. they felt that it would bean exceptional experience. well, orgy's certainlyhave come a long way. hey. hey, how about a group sexclinic for people with hang-ups. i mean, we could answer allthe forbidden questions, like, "do i have to beover sexed to participate?" "is it expensive?can anyone join?" "what kind of peoplewill i meet?"
"will it interfere withmy religious beliefs?" "is it likely to wear me outor shorten my sex life?" or... "are you sure you cankeep a secret?" you know, i've decided, i'm really a puristconservationist. really? i always thoughtyou are a liberal. well, i am politically. but i'm against everything.
everything? yeah, in the wilderness.you know, super highways, campground,ski lifts, restaurants,hotdog stands, giant parking lotsand plush resorts. well, i guess, i'm just forsatin sheets and dry martinis and paid vacationsand lots of room service. no, heather, i mean,nature's natural beauty shouldn't becommercially exploited.
we shouldn't rapethe landscape. i don't want to rape anyone! you know, i once read thisbook about backpacking in the wildernesswith a buddy. male or female? it doesn't make any difference.it's the experience that counts. you know,you may be right. i haven't given anythought to the experience. i only thought it was importantwho you were with
and where you wereseen doing it. i guess i've just been toobusy having a good time. nothing wrong withhaving a good time. no. or maybe there iswhen you try too hard. come on,we're going to be late. hey, i got it. i got the job. hey, man, that's great.
beautiful. would you look at who's goingto be mother goose to 300 boys? just think of it, brea,your own farm system. listen brea,you better watch your step. i hear those little monsters burned their last counselorat the stake. oh, come on, it's goingto be a great summer, we'll all be up there together. and lake arrowhead won't bethe same when we're through with it.
hey, listen, you're all invitedto stay at my place. sorry, the beautifulcamp wanachee has arranged for myown private pup tent. i even get time offfor good behavior. and we have a wholesomethreesome going, carla, nick and i. who is nick? ah, he's some guyi picked up on. sort of a cross betweentruman capote
and steve mcqueen. and he also happens to be theski instructor up at the lake. so you see, we're all set. anyway, you have a wholehouse full of relatives. uh-hmm, just one. i'm babysitting for mylittle cousin this summer. i haven't seen her in ages. yeah. well, while you'rewarming her milk and tucking her into bedeach night,
you just think aboutyour closest friend in the arms of some,uhmp, dynamite cat. having her bodycaressed with kisses. letting out cries of ecstasy!and moans! oh, let's hear it forthe moans of delight. wishing all thetime you were there. some friend. what are friends forif we can't even discuss sex. sex is a biological urge,triggered by hormones,
secreted by your glands. oh, that's beautiful, brea. really romantic. and sex can bedemonstrated, categorized, identified, measured, promotedlike popcorn or mouthwash, but while we are making love... commonly called "having sex." we shall not forget ourbest friend's loneliness. i know.
we'll write her namein men's rooms. or, how about a big sign to read,"last girl before freeway." oh yeah. well, listen gang,if i get too lonely, i can always advertisein playboy. - playboy?- playboy? ♪ ♪ - hi.- hi. i think you really got tosettle something for me.
like what? well, my friend, warren, i bet him that anybodyas beautiful as you had to be somesort of a celebrity. uh-hmm.what did warren say? he said any girl with afantastic body like yours had to be an athlete. uh-hmm. i've led a verysheltered childhood.
my name is larry.larry gordon. heather brent. i'm sorry you lost your bet. it was worth it.i met you, didn't i? - dance?- okay. where's the action? i don't know yet. hey listen,have you seen brea? oh, brea!i'd like to see brea
lying naked on an oriental rugwith her arms reaching out for my passionate,throbbing body. andy. no, i haven't seen her. do you want a drink? yeah, thanks. hmm. closer. you know,i'm worried about you, andy.
do you ever thinkof anything but sex? no, i don't think so. you know, sometimesi wished my mother would have dressedme up funny so i could have grown upto be a homosexual. a homosexual. why? just think of it. then i wouldn't haveto think about girls.
oh. hi group. - hi, brea.- hi, brea. i am ready for a big night. let me tell you. a big night to her is slidingdown a matterhorn at disneyland. - hey brea,do you want a drink?- uh-uh. i think it's a singapore sling. well, i'm surprised at you andy,you know brea has no vices.
well, i've acquired a couple. you better be careful because andy here just had younaked on an oriental rug. oh, go on. if i go on, i may losea beautiful friendship. well, my good buddy, i have come here tonight to inviteeach and every one of you to a small gatheringof my medical friends. it will be an eveningof easy virtue.
plenty of booze,lots of eligible men. oh, i like it. it will be an orgy thatwould be long remembered. at least she won'tcheat on me. i will always knowwhere she is. you know, i don't know if it's aboy skeleton or girl skeleton. what does it matter, i love you.
kiss me. are you sure, you two have neverplayed the doctor-nurse game? no, but i was ina hospital once. well, i'm goingto be the doctor. and you two will be nurses. cool. what's the prize? the nurse that doesthe most for the doctor will get somethingshe'll never forget, okay?
okay. it's not often that i... that imeet someone that i can talk to. i mean, someone thati can look up to and find mutual interestand respect. someone that trulyin a short lifetime wants to spend a momentor two with me. it's your move. move? the chess game, professor.
oh yes, of course, my dear. do you really thinkamerican chess players are superior to therussian players? of course, summer camp isa nice place to meet people. did you like going to camp? that's where i firstmet warren. warren is a verysociable fellow. he and i used to share abunk bed. i was on top. you were on top.
everything was all right untilthe whole bed started shaking. - earthquake?- no. every night whenthe lights went out, warren started beating his pud. - beating his pud.- yeah. one night he wasso damned bad the whole cabin started shaking. i counted 20 guysbeating their pud. warren, you mighthave gone blind.
really. i mean, when youreally get down to it, how much time do we have? imagine. just imagine that you and i were the last manand woman on earth. huh, that's heavy. well, that's a heavymind buster. by the way,what was your name?
arthur. of course, arthur. oops. sorry andy, you look happy as a hypochondriacin a medical convention. hey, brea, come on in,i'll make you chief nurse. no, thank you, i think you have yourhands full, doctor. now, altogether say, "ah."
- ah.- ah. that's good. look, i won't do itif you don't want me to. i mean, some girlslike it and some don't. after all it's your ear. honey, nobody hasever asked me before, they just went aheadand did it. well, i was just going to do it,and i would have, but warren and i respect you.
that's nice, but warrenhas very cold hands. you know, i think the three ofus are going to be very happy. i, i think i love you. sweetheart,i'm just not your type. - oh, no.- no. but see theone over there? - over there, yes.- yeah. - were? there...- much better for you. right there.
i think i love you. mickey, i'm telling you,you are what you eat. so you really thinkyou can beat me? absolutely. now, if i win,what do i get? huh, what do you want? you go to bedwith me tonight. okay. okay. here's the bet...
hey, carla come on,we got a contest. contest?what contest, girl? listen, you go to hear this. - you know egomaniacmickey, right?- yeah. well, he's going to have asit-up contest with brea and if he wins he goesto bed with her tonight, but if she wins she'sgoing to shave him bald. - shave him bald?- yeah. that poor guy.
doesn't he knowshe can do at least 200 and not even get winded. we'll we sure aregoing to find out. come on, let's go. i got to see this.come on. professor, are you okay? totally in control, my dear. totally in control. hang loose big boy,hang loose.
65... 66... 67... hey, is anybody takingbets on this? what's your play? - i've got 20 that says brea wins.- you're covered. hey carla,are you with me? sure, go, we split. okay.hey, anybody else? - i've got 5.- you're on. you're on.
oh, that's fantastic,come on, brea. - heather.- uh-hmm. just being close to you isturning warren and i on. hmm.that's nice. but i wish i could find away to turn warren off. why don't we go overto your house and we'll have a nightthat you won't forget, i promise you. me, you and warren.
warren?! do it, girl.do it. brea, don't youlet us down, girl. brea baby, we've gotmoney riding on you, get it on. 91... 92... 93... 94... 95... 96... yay! to the victor belongs the spoils.
come on, spoils in frontof god and everybody. we did it. i told you girls that there'd beonly one winner, huh? okay, i'm coming. yes? heather? hi. don't you recognize me?i'm paula your cousin.
oh honey, come in. i'm sorry. at 7 in the morning,i don't recognize anybody. - how have you been?- fine. listen you must be exhausted, do you want somemilk and cookies or a coke or something? oh, no thanks. wow, oh,your place is beautiful.
honey, you just gotto have to excuse me, i keep seeing you inpigtails and braces. oh, that's okay. what, it's been five yearssince we've seen each other. i really appreciateyou asking me to spend my vacation with you. don't you think it's abouttime we got together again? this summer isgoing to be fantastic. i mean,i hope i never forget it.
so daddy told john,that's the boy used to go with, to have me home by 12. fine. so we go out to thedune buggy races, way out in the desert, miles from everything and everybody goes home. well, guess what happened? - he ran out of gas.- he ran out of gas.
oh really. - no really?- uh-hmm. so there's poor daddy, sitting home alone waitingfor me on the front porch and i don't show up. well, let me tell you, he had everybody butthe foreign legion out looking for me. he had the state police,the local police,
the fire department,the dogcatcher. oh, paula. do you like it? fantastic. are you comfortable? oh, i... uh, i guessthis is your place? yes, this is my place. look, i'm really sorry.
i was hiking all nightand i was just looking for a place to crashfor a couple of days. well, if you don't mindi'd like you to leave. like i said, i'm sorry. don't you haveany place to stay? no, i don't haveany place to stay. i'm a little short, you know,but i am looking for work. listen, you could probablyuse a guy like me around here. i could chop some morewood for you;
open the house up, a lot of things.i'm a good handyman. why not, heather? he could chop somemore wood for us and there's lots of thingsto do around here. couldn't we use some helpeven if it's only for a few days? well, i suppose we could tryit out and see what happens for a few days. fantastic. thanks.
listen, you bunk back there.it's not the holiday inn, but at least it willkeep the rain off. after you've putyour stuff away, get our luggageout of the car. thanks again, miss, uh? ms. brent. paula, come on, don't you wantto see the inside of the house? hey roommate, do youwant a ride to the village? nick, i don't have to beat work till noon.
good, why don't i stay homeuntil noon and then we can... nick jensen,you are an evil man. you're going to be late. it sure would be fun though. i can tell when i'm not wanted. see you later, okay? hi, fellas. i'm brea stone,the camp nurse. hello, ms. stone.
oh, you boysjust call me brea, okay. sure thing, brea,my name is aaron. this is my friend harold. boys up here for two weeksor the whole summer? the whole summer. how about you, harold? summer,the whole summer. hey that's great. this is my secondyear here, brea.
the nurse we had last year sure wasn't as prettyas you are. she was a real dog,you know. forget it. well, thank you. were you up herelast year too? oh, no. well, i hope you guyshave a nice time, if there's anythingi can do for you,
my office is right up there. you bet, brea. nice meeting you, harold. see you, aaron. see you. boy, is she builtlike a brick shit house? what? a brick shit house. what's the matter with you,you can't be all that dumb.
no, i'm not that dumb. boy, would i liketo make it with her. but what do you do,take her for a coke? no, you idiot. i'll take her for awalk in the woods, then i'll make mad,passionate love to her. are you dreamer? i am, huh. how many women do youthink i've been with?
i don't know. oh, come on,how many would you say, take a guess. counting yourmother and your sister? no, not counting mymother and my sister. let me tell you smartass,i've been to bed with lots of girls. my mother and my sister?i'll see you later, okay? okay, now alice,now keep your knees bent. that's it.
just relax and let the waterdo the work for you. - bounce?- that's it. yeah.just relax. you got it? getting it. hey, can i help you? no, i'm fine.thanks anyway. here. thanks.
so do you get the idea, alice? i think so.finally. good. hey, nick? huh? who is that good-lookingguy on the boat? i don't know, uh, lee. lee something. oh, i know lee kingman.
yeah? what do you know about him? not much. some rich dude justseparated from his wife. why?are you interested? just curious, lover boy. hey, cut that out. see you later. bye.
um,can i do something for you? you already have. i'll just bet you were lookingfor the sensuous man, right? well, no i was liking... lookingfor a copy of dr. stillman's water diets. why don't you trythe index cards? why not. can i help you with something? you sure turn thatpoor old man on.
the story of my lifealways turn on the poor ones, but never the rich ones. what can i do for you? now or tonight? now. well, now i'm lookingfor something on picasso. his life? his works? his works. i'd like to see someof his early paintings.
okay.lets see what we can find. picasso, huh? uh, here we are. do you have your card? yeah, sure. ah, is this your steady job now or you're just up herefor the summer? oh, just for the summer,i'm a student. how about yourself?
no, i live here year round. it must be beautifulup here in the winter. do you get much snow? yeah.it's something else. yeah?family up here too? no, they live in the city. you said you're a student,what's your major? anthropology. oh, wow,that's a deep one, huh?
no.not all the time. but i do find the studyof man very stimulating. yeah, i just bet you do. i guess you've been toldyou're a very pretty lady. hey, how'd you liketo go out tonight? oh, no, no.i hardly know you. that's okay. i just want to makenew friends. well, i got to go now.
by the way,what's your name? carla.carla welsh and yours? mike.mike black. you're putting me on. how are you feeling? must happen at least10 times a day. i really thought you had itfor a minute the way you hit the water. well look,i don't mean to be rude,
but my name is lee kingman. hi, lee.beth michaels. if you're not doinganything beth, how about a drink? sure, i'd love to. so, i told her,"i've had it," and she left. - do you miss her?- no way. i got tired ofplaying babysitter. do you know what i mean?
yeah, i sure do. i used to go with this guy andevery time he had a problem he'd come knocking at my door. sure got to be a drag. do you have any children? oh yeah, i have a son. he goes to military school. they're going to makea man out of him. speaking of men,
you're not marriedor anything, are you? i can't find the right man. well, i'm a man andi find you very attractive. thank you. look honey, i suppose i'mkind of barging in on you, but would you havedinner with me tonight, just you and me. i'd love to. hey, what's the matter, socks?don't you like me anymore?
you're the salt of the earth. hey, what do you saywe wheel back to la, this fresh air is killing me. no, i don't want togo back to that hot city. honey, it's not right we letjoe drive back by himself. so who said he'sgoing back by himself? hey, wait a minute. i wheeled up here with you,i'm wheeling back with you. joe.
how muchyou give me for her? shit. how about a buck and a half. sold. i'm no slave! hey, listen,i thought i was with you, you can't treat me like that. now baby,why don't' you bug off. we had some good times andyou were good while you lasted.
now it's all over,i pass. now you be a good girl,you go with joe. i'll see you in la. what about that dollar fifty? you can owe it to me. you know your trouble, socks? you love yourself too much. you're wrong because i'm not evengood enough for me.
god damn it, why don'tyou get off my back? why don't you startacting like a husband? stop messing aroundwith all those foxy ladies? why don't you? drop dead? it would have been nicefor you, wouldn't it? hey, why don't we selltickets to your fights? we'd make a fortune. you see martin,
is that any way to talk to mein front of our son? arnie understands. he knows that marriedpeople have arguments, don't you, son? no, i don't understand. it's the same thing every day. you fight and you fight and you're tearingmy insides out.
you stop talkinglike that arnold or i'll smack your mouth. mother,don't call me that, ever. my name is arnie.arnie! arnie! i can't even havemy friends over. you two would probably starta fight right in front of them. where are you going? i'm going to the dance. well, you get in early.
this is a family? you two must be kidding. hey arnie,how are you doing? hey. okay. okay arnie,you take it easy, all right? i'll see you later. - mike black, right?- right. this is nick jensen. how are you doing?
hey,don't you work up here? yeah, i'm a ski instructor. hey, that must bea great life. it is. - hey, come on, let's dance.- oh no. you don't mind, do you? - no, go ahead.- oh, honey. how would you like totake a spin on my bike? your what?
how would you like to takea ride on my motorcycle? too dangerous,besides i hate motorcycles. i've got to go home. hey beth,have you see carla? yeah, she told meshe was leaving and she'd see me later. something the matter? something is alwaysthe matter. hey, hop on.
i'll take youwhere you're going. no, thanks.i don't have that far to go. hey, come on, baby.i won't hurt you. i just want tohave a little fun. hey baby, do you want to play games? i'll play games with you. you're a son of a bitch! help me, please.
somebody let me in.help me. for god's sake open,please hurry. let me in. please. hurry. someone please,let me in. help. - what's all the racket?- i don't know. come on, man! daddy wants to see you. please.
let me in.please. someone help me.please. are you all right?what happened? i'll be okay as soonas i catch my breath. there's a creep on a motorcyclechasing me all the way up here. hey baby, come on out. i'm not going to hurt you. you creep,get out of here! i'll call the police.
no, that's not necessary. i think he's gone now. i just live up the road andi can be home in no time. thanks for everything. ah! ah! ah! ah! she had over a hundredstab wounds in her body. heather,you better take her home, she's pretty shook up.
mike, this is just crazy, who would dosomething like this? yeah, it's crazy. somebody is outof their mind. hey. hey! you are not my father,my husband or my keeper. i do what i wantwhen i want to do it. i thought we hadsomething going. you see... see, you,
you thought we had something, but it's over. over. just like that it's over? just like that. look, can you digwhere i'm coming from? i am free, blackand very independent and no man, no man is going totie a can onto my tail.
well, he must besome kind of lover. happens to behe's some kind of a man! good morning. morning. do you always swim nude? yeah, why not? well, it could be embarrassing. to who?me or to you? certainly not to me.
you know something, you're really abeautiful person except like you try to actlike something else, not natural, not yourself. so now you're thepsychologist? no, just a manand you're a woman and i think you'd liketo be treated like one, not some queen of the hill. but it is my hill,i own it.
sure you own it. you own lots of things. sort of a crutch. you see, i can leave your hillanytime i want to; i'm not stuck with it. and i'm not stuckwith you either, am i? you know what wouldbe good for you, is to lie here in the mudand get your ass dirty. well, it could havebeen interesting.
gee, this is the first time i've ever been servedby a naked waiter. you're beautiful. to us. love. you know, i thinki'm falling in love. yeah, mom,i have plenty of socks. i'm taking myvitamins every day. no, i don't have a cold.
mom, i'm fine. no, don't sendany more clothes, i've got plenty. mom, it's summer, they have blanketsif i need more. come on, mom. i love you too. aw... yes mom,i ate all my spinach.
no mom, i haven'twet bed for two days. yes mom,i love you, mama. hey, what's going onhere, boys? - harold.- leave me alone. hey, don't let themget you down. look, they're just trying to bebig men at your expense. i don't like it. aaron is supposedto be my friend. well, he's nothingbut a wise guy.
well, why don't youbeat him up. step on his head,break his fingers. make him eat someground glass. look, you could runover him with a tank. i'll put an atomic bombunder his bunk. now you got the idea. but don't let himget you down. i guess it's my mom's fault. she's just worried about you.
if she was worried,she wouldn't send me here. well, mothers sometimesdon't understand, but i do. you do? oh, heather,it's just like old times, isn't it? you were as good as you werewhen you were 16. marty, you're a son-of-a-bitch. but it's always beenthat way between us, hasn't it? you need me, i need you.
when you've wanted a real mani've always been there, right? it's our little secret, you just don't want to admit it. go to hell. well, you are a pretty thing,aren't you? that's what mydaddy tells me. make sure you alwayslisten to your daddy. lee, i want to talk to you. about what?
about things. what things? things, just things. things like,where you're from, do you have anybrothers and sisters, what do you do for a living. you know,do you like football? just things. i was born in st. john's hospitalin denver, colorado.
my family moved tocalifornia when i was six. i have one brotherand two sisters, and i am an architectand a very good one. and i love football and my favorite team isthe oakland raiders and i get turned onlooking at beautiful blondes. is that all you want from me? i don't even know you. i don't knowanything about you.
god lee, it meanssomething to me. jesus christ, i justgave you my life history. i mean, what the hell is this,the third degree? are you a cop or something? no, i'm a woman and iwant to be treated like one. as a lover, you're great. as a man,you're not making it. look, i'm sorry. i'm trying to treat youlike a woman,
be patient with me. don't be mad. you just don't understand. i understand. are you crazy? i could have killed you. where did you get that? in the house. in the house, just like that.
well, who the hell gave youpermission to go into my house? don't get so excited. it's no big deal. you walked inand just took that, right? well, who the helldo you think you are? heather. you are to stay out of my houseunless i ask you in. do you understand that? you are going to be justlike your father, arnold.
stay out all night, play around withall the young girls and who cares about me? i'm the one who doesall the work around here. i take care of the hotel. i sweep up the floorand clean up the messes. i'm sick of it and of you. you and your father. you're like the don juan'sof arrowhead.
now you clean up this place. okay, mother. i told you,he was no damn good. diane, are you okay? hey, what's wrong? oh my god, she's dead. i called san bernardino; homicide is sendingsome men up. anyone know her name?
diane, that's all i know. she was just learninghow to ski. any identification orwallet or something? not that i know of. who would want a kidlike that, sam? but whoever it wasis one hell of a good shot. excuse me. oh, hi. anything i can do for you?
um, i'm looking for acertain kind of book. well, we have allkinds of books. anything in particular? yes, um, i'm lookingfor a book on sex. sex? i got to make up aterm paper for school, you know. you look like you couldwrite your own book on that. yes.i guess i could,
but this is thehighly technical side. do you understand? sure. sure. let's see, we have everything you everwant to know about sex, the sensuous man,the biological urge, how to succeed in marriage,which one do you want? i'll take them all. all i can say is that's goingto be some term paper
you're going to write. will you look at those tits! man, she is beautiful. ooh, would i like tohave her in the sack. come on over harold,you got to see this. i don't want to. what's the matter,are you chicken? maybe but at leasti'm not a peek freak. what's the matter,are you queer?
i'll show you who's queer. have you seen arnie? he was supposedto meet me here. who are you? my name is paula,we have a date. i have no idea where he is. will you tell me something, what kind of a girlpicks up a boy? hi, paula.
- hi.- i'm sorry i'm late. have you been here long? shall we go to the dance? let's just go for a walk, okay? sure, fine. just like his father. you know,i like the nighttime when it's dark you can sit out hereand imagine almost anything.
i guess you can.it's really quiet. but i thought we could talk. what do you wantto talk about? anything. everything. you and me. you know, i think you're avery beautiful girl, paula. i think you're areally nice boy. i'm not a boy, paula.
i'm a man. you're not the first girli've brought up here. oh really? i suppose you've hadtons of experience. i've had a lot of girls. i know what girls like. do you want meto show you? you're really coming on. do you want to kiss me?
what's the matter with you? nothing. i'm not in the mood. what happened tothe big time lover? i don't know.i thought i could do it. oh, i get it now. i'm not the first girlyou've had up here. well, you've never had a girl. you're a liar.
where have theybeen keeping you? in a freezer? you don't even knowhow to kiss. that's no crime. a lot of guys don't. you know whatthey're called, don't you? but you're a virgin. wow. a real live boy-virgin.
stop it! stop it! what's the matter,little boy? didn't your motherever teach you about the birds and the bees? paula! operator,get me the police! what happened? someone tried to kill us. over there.
heather! heather, are you all right? oh, sam. heather, did you geta good look at him? oh, sam. sam... it was a woman! oh! oh, sam. harold! hey.where are you going?
nowhere in particular. i thought i'd go into town. i'll give you a ride. i thought i'd look around.you know, sightsee. ah, look. since today is my day off,we can do it together. would you like that? who wouldn't? sure.it sounds like fun.
great! hop in. lee, i spoke to heatherthis morning, and she invited us to a partytomorrow afternoon at the country club. well, i told heri was going to ask you but i was sureit would be all right. listen,wait until you meet carla. you've got it allfigured out, haven't you? what are you talking about?
sweetheart,just because we made love, it doesn't mean we haveto pick out furniture. i didn't mean anything, lee. i just wanted myfriends to meet you. look,something came up. i have to take off this afternoon. i'll call you, okay? you'll call me. we'll have dinnersome time,
you know, a few drinks. well, it seems our relationshiphas come to a bloody end. tell me, mr. kingman,how was i? oh, come on, beth.you're a big girl now. we made it togetherand that's it. well, i guess i'm a real dummy. you know, i believed thethings that you told me. i thought that you might... justmight have been different. you believed whatyou wanted to believe.
look, baby, it was you who wanted to find abig summer romance so you could spend all winter telling the girlswhat a ball i was. so, you got meall figured out. well, let me give yousome advice. the next time you wake upin some guy's bed, don't nail him to the cross.it never works. well, the next time
i fall in love, i'll have it all straightenedout before we have sex, or should i do it your way? look, can i drop yousome place? no, thanks, pal. i think you just did. yeah.well, i'll call you. we'll have those drinks.and you take care, huh? it's been fun.
hello? oh, hi, heather.what you doing? oh, yeah. - be with you in a minute.- okay. the country club? yeah, sounds great. ok. ok. talk to you later.bye, bye. hey!
and just what can i do for you,mr. tall-dark-and-handsome? well, i was just driving by,and i thought i'd stop in and tell you how muchi love your body. oh! and what else do you love,officer mike? oh, i love your mind,your very soul, enough to know that i cannever live without you. this is it for me, baby. i'm going to jointhe foreign legion.
i am a ruined man. well, just what cani do to un-ruin you? well, the only thing thatyou can do to cure me is come to my apartment and we make love againand again and again and again... okay, okay.you win. listen,let me ask you this question. how would you like to take meto a party at the country club? i love to take you anywhere.
what do say we startwith my place? you bring the booze.i'll bring the body. and what about the loving? mike, will you stop kidding.i have to go now. hey, hey. who's kidding?i'm serious. mike, i've gotto... mike, mike... mike? yeah.what can i do for you? i'm looking for paula.have you seen her? i think she left maybeabout an hour ago
to go down to the dock. thank you anyway. it's okay. hi, beth. brea, is carla there? uh-uh,i haven't seen her, and i've been in the housea couple of hours. well, listen.when you see her, tell her that nick and iare here getting bombed,
and we're going to drinkmargaritas until the bartender raisesthe mexican flag, and then i thinki'll go drown myself. beth, is something wrong?are you all right? huh, what could be wrong? bye, bye. you all set? yeah um, could you tie this for me?
sure. what's the matter? i guess,i'm a little nervous. i mean, do this formy sister all the time but she isn't as big as... i mean, you're beautiful. harold, what if we didn'tgo back to camp tonight? i mean,what if i call them? call?
after we go swimmingwe could have a dinner and watch tv and... call them? son of a gun... who wouldn't?! - ok?- ok. when you're done, my cleaning needsto be picked up. hey, listen. why don't you pilethat a little more neatly?
you made an awful messthe last time. what are you doing? you take a lot for granted. you were told never tocome in to this house again unless you were asked. now, get out! listen,i said get up, put one footin front of the other and get out of my house.
look, you son-of-a-bitch! just shut up. you move out of that spotand i'm going to bust your tail. do you hear me?do you hear me?! don't you understand anything? you've had so muchfor so long. you don't knowwhat's real anymore. you've so protected yourself that nobody is goingto get through to you.
i know you're afraid because we're all afraidbut it's okay. sure, there's hurt and painbut there's love, too, and there are alldifferent kinds of love. listen heather, the more realyou are with people, the more real they're goingto have to be with you. don't be afraid of life. trust someone.
trust me. don. do i really seemthat way to you? yes. but i don't want to. i really don't want to. then just open up. just let someone in. hi, yourself.
i didn't mean to wake you. you didn't. i wasn't really asleep. did you have a nice day? best day i've ever had. what are you laughing at? i was just thinking if aaron and those creepscould see me now. are you going to tell them?
no way. let them thinkwhat they want. besides nothing happened. no, it didn't. brea? you're very pretty. i'll never forget you, ever. we won't forget each other. i've never made lovewith a woman before.
you are now, harold. aw, nicky! listen, woman. i got a deal for you. hmm.i don't know about your deals. no.what i was going to say was of six months of the year, you come up and live with me; and six months of the year,i'll come and live with you.
why, you little dickens, you. that's no deal,that's a proposition. yeah.i know. heather told me tostay away from you. she said you were no good. well, maybe she is jealous. i've known heathersince she was a little girl. i grew up around here. her father was anold friend of mine.
doesn't having a relationshiplike that bother you? what bother? what could be more funthan making love to beautiful young girls? heather has nevercomplained to me yet. i guess most young girlshave a father complex. they like making itwith an older man. what about your wife? does she know aboutall your bad habits?
sylvia does put up with a lot. she needs me. i guess when a womangets to be her age, she grows insecure, not much to offer anymore but she loves me. what kind of a jail sentencedo you think you can get for contributing to thedelinquency of a minor? well, all i can tell you is
i think your cousinis going to go home a little olderand a little wiser. just as long as she doesn'tgo home a little pregnant. you're going to be just likeyour father, arnold. play around withall the young girls. who cares about me? don't you love your mother?don't you love your mother? arnold. arnold!
everybody down! everybody down... arnie? oh my god, arnie. arnold, don't youlove your mother? oh, i wish you were dead. i wish you were dead. i wish you were dead! well, gang, after awild summer of romance,
mystery, and a wholelot of excitement, i think i'm just aboutready to hit the books. eh, paula? i'll tell you one thing. hobbs, new mexicowill never be the same. this is one vacationi'll never forget. oh, it was beautiful. absolutely beautiful. brea, remind me sometime
to ask you about thatlittle old boys camp. what do you call it? - wanachee.- wanachee. camp wanachee. and if i told you, carla,you would never believe it. so, i thought i'd title the book, "how much mischief can a girlget into if she really tries." what do you think? well, i think we had enoughexperiences this summer
to write 10 books. yeah,but have we really suffered? guess we have! let's get this showon the road. baby, let's get it on. where to next?come on. come on, let's go!
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